My friend Ruthie recently pointed out a curious blockage shadowing my sites unicorn theme. She was doing some online shopping and saw some kind of adorable unicorn mug advertised and when she clicked on the link her computer was served with a warning of an “insecure site”. The site in question is http://ispeakunicorn.com which has also been flagged as a suspicious site by my security software. She really liked the mug and thought she was in a way being denied a service. As she stated; no genuine website whose existence depended on selling unicorn mugs would risk being listed as an “insecure site” to its customer base and so it only make sense as the tactics of a smear campaign ‘which to those in the know only reaffirms what the site is really about.’ I understand there are Marketers and advertising maggots out there run campaigns like this as their profession so I suppose it could be the case but at the risk making a ridiculous clarification; I don’t speak Unicorn nor have never claimed to so the association doesn’t concern me but she believes it’s an obvious attempt to sway the collective opinion against the Unicorn persuasion and a devious way to detract from the various experiences and topics in my writing. She likes Unicorns and is sensitive to things like that because as she says; “people always want to make an example of the girl who has her own book in the Bible”. I know all about that kind of profiling because of the ordeal with my Christian name. None of this worries me because my writing is my therapy and speaks for itself so even if these tactics were effective in swaying ‘public opinion’ against me its readership that I would never miss. Many probably already hate this site anyhow. I am sure that if I did have any regular readers they would know what’s up by now but it is nice to know we have friends who look out us.
And that’s exactly what this post is about looking out for one another… Last year someone I had previously met through my book club convinced me I had to try her detox routine which has really worked out great. According to Ruthie because the sun never sets on the British Empire a single box of 80 Ty·phoo teabags can be used travail and conquer the world in 80 days, or at least with the help of Jules Vern. As the name implies it’s the perfect beverage regimen for reading and studying. For me; the tea has a very calming effect which is conducive to pleasant meditations but there is also a certain intangible magick in the Tea which is better to be experienced. It’s almost as if the tannins in the tea work as a vehicle to traverse the mental gaps and blockages that keep us in our own scowling and grim moods. Nigella Lawson even vaguely resembles Ruthie♥
Neither of us are attempting to endorse this in any official capacity because one side effect of “tea magick” is that even a single cycle can noticeably “tint” ones teeth; which is totally worth it in my opinion and can easily be countered with regular use of “tooth whitening” dentifrice. As an unexpected result of this my own dental care ritual has actually improved. As she explains it; it’s cheaper that an Anti-Depressant; and so long as dairy isn’t added it’s consistently refreshing and great for doing chores or even light exercise. So this alone is a step in the right direction for me. Coffee is a sit-on-your-ass-and-complain drug; whereas Tea is better suited to gardening, hiking or smithing. One subtle aspect of the spell is its allowance for added “spiritual depth perception” that results from ones corresponding reading habits; Ruthie’s words not mine. To a degree you have to be reading the “right” books in the first place. Even still the Tea does a good job of lifting you out of emotional ruts and lending one the mental clarity and energy to hash out new habits and review older ones. Its magick plays on a very subtle atemporal quality as a rejuvenator and comforting staple refreshment.
Currently I have just started my second, 80 day tea cycle and I only write this because of all the mental and spiritual loot I have acquired I would almost feel guilty not promoting it. People should know how effective a Tea routine can be. I don’t want to embarrass her by writing too much about her here because clearly there are those who hate my blog but I felt compelled to express my gratitude to her and her Tea Elves for all the Photography dates and help with the pictures on this site. I didn’t ever know that she read this or even knew what it was about but we have had comparable experiences as targeted individuals. We have also discussed making a short about my talking cat Truman showcasing his totalitarian level of control over my life. Ruthie suggested the name “Truman’s Internet Hate Machine” for an idea where Truman is actually a feline mastermind manipulating the world through my social media posts. I think I am sold on that one because what a fun and easy project that would be. It all starts from the tag line of a space drama epic with several different character lines forming the narrative of a sentence :
“Truman is creating a machine… a super structure in reality greater and more destructive than our world has ever seen…We’re in danger… Oh God! We’re going to-… Hell; the final human destination.”
In trailer the music would stop suddenly and the scene would abruptly cut to darkness. It would be like Truman’s attempt at honoring Kubrik, however because of his inflated feline ego coupled with his own lack of moral integrity the film would inevitably degrade into a project about “Becoming Kubrik” and would absolutely result in a cinematic disaster. Which I am sure would all be very interesting in its way; Truman is a wonderful story teller but none of it would actually be true which is Truman’s fatal flaw as a writer; he falsely believes that he can monopolize “truth” because he named himself after it. In his own perfect world Truman would sit in a tiny hover-throne and rule over humanity with an iron paw as the absolute Pontifex Maximus and the high commander and chief of humankind and he would use his power to remind everyone, every day that the last word in every single one of his debates is and always will be: “Period.” Even now as I write this Truman is right here annoying me with one of his feline ramblings where he always knows best and everyone else is wrong because they weren’t world renowned writers in their last lives.
Also on Ruthie’s recommendation I have also invested in a Copper Drinking Flask. I have never taken serious thought of my water source or a proper vessel and so it only makes sense to have one that is intended to be permanent and the alleged health benefits are also a plus. To me a copper water flask strikes me as a very obvious thing that I should have done years ago and I sort of feel like I just crawled out of a cave by not having taken the initiative and insisting on proper hydration habits until now. I blame my time working in the trades for this lack of hydration awareness.