My condolences to those in the Prodigy;
I checked both the Prodigy website as well social-media and because there is no direct method of contact I have regretfully posted this to my blog and will then proceed to post a link to it on the Prodigy’s twitter page. I realize this is a terrible way to do this. I would have much preferred to privately send an email… but my conscience has compelled to me to take responsibility for what is absolutely my doing.
I was deeply saddened to find that Keith Flint had passed on from this life. I had already lost a cousin this past week to something unexpected and so I was devastated to find out that you lost someone as well. I have been venting my grievances online as a kind of therapy and his suicide is undoubtedly the result of something I wrote on my own twitter page. I haven’t deleted anything because I don’t want to hide or run from any of this, so I am sure you can put it all together if you wanted to. I don’t have any followers and I wasn’t even aware anyone could even see my tweets but the details of his passing show that I must be the cause. My only reason for tweeting is borne of a kind of OCD tendency to store my most radioactive thoughts online. It’s not my intention to make this letter about me but in my defense there are many reasons why I am so angry. My life has been in a tail spin since film director Ron Howard (a molester) made fun of me in his show Arrested Development Season Four and he has continued to taunt me with cryptography in media ever since. I have an acne problem and I am also an Incel/Demisexual so I didn’t take to his jokes very well. In 2010 I legally changed my name from my christian slave-name to a Nazirite one. My Nazirite #pathwork contains numbers and details which Ron Howard has assumed are indicative of homosexuality and he and his cohorts in media have exploited these in various ways ever since. It’s both humiliating and infuriating. My writing was also plagiarized by a number of big name writers. Quentin Tarantino also made the Hateful Eight about how my little sister hung herself. My ex-wife sold me out to Imagine Entertainment in the worst way possible. Then there is of course the #Nike Winehouse conspiracy which follows me. So I have anger issues and emotional problems… This has been going on since 2008 and I have written (this) blog with 128 articles all about my troubles. Whatever; this letter is not about me.
I know you and yours’ will probably hate me. You have a right to. Many already do without even knowing me but for what it’s worth I am sorry. I wanted to be an artist, a writer. I sincerely wanted to have a positive effect on the world but after what happened to me I am a mangled version of myself. Keith was obviously a very high octane individual. The pathwork around his death reveals him as a kind of fearless warrior spirit. I wish I could have known him. I have always loved the Prodigy’s music. It’s definitely my kind of thing; super-charged adrenalized Dance music and I am beside myself with grief knowing that he won’t be a part of that anymore. It’s even worse knowing that I inspired him to do it. But despite his suicide his spirit is still very much intact… So much so that I wonder how this is possible. I am medium of sorts and probably not a very good one but his “message” is him pointing at something. He is pointing to the South (I live in Canada). If I had to guess it has to do with the Leftfield track “Open Up”. For someone so recently passed he is very animated, very lucid. He knows where he is and what happened and seems totally unbothered by any of it. He actually seems pleased with himself. It’s quite obvious he intended for his death to be the spark. That’s all I care to say. I know that probably sounds awful coming from me and I wish things could be any other way. I don’t know what to say, that’s my reading on him. My other ghost friend’s I have known for far longer and even they are much slower in their communications.
How do I live myself? I don’t know… I only know that I should NOT have to live what’s left of my life as a slave. If I had done what Ron Howard wanted me to do I would be worse off than this. My life has been a twisted hell for as long as I can remember and so I dont really know what is and is not appropriate… After being humiliated by the media I have been dealing with something I call “simulation syndrome” and so this could be incredibly insensitive on my part. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything but I dont think I could live with myself if I didn’t admit my part in this… I have created a world where all my friends live. We’re all Elves there. I live with Slain (Pelle Ohlin) and Jonbenet and Sharon is our foster mom. We live on a farm in the country; everyone hates us at school but our home life is really wonderful. Its sort of what I imagine Heaven to be like. Aunty Carol comes to visit and our Uncle Merl teaches us stuff about motorcycles and codes and farming. Richard Ramirez is there too but he is a really nice guy who sticks up for us. I suppose you dont get to choose your family. I thought I was just making this up but it seems to be aligned with things that happen here. My point is that I am sure Keith will find his way there. I think he already has.
I am not doing very well at the moment and in anger I already took to Ron Howard’s twitter page and blamed him for Keith’s death. I was upset and I am furious at how things have turned out. So I am sorry if that adds insult to injury. I am surely “shadow banned” anyhow but I know in my heart that if Ron Howard would have taken responsibility; if he would have just admitted that he spied on me, made fun of me, harassed me etc, than none of this would have ever happened and Keith would still be alive. I wrote awful things. I admit that and I feel horrible. But the source of my anguish and the reason why Keith died is Ron Howard… curse his name.
I didn’t think anyone was paying any attention because that’s not how I operate. I “shine” with or with out anyone’s approval for better or worse’, that’s just how I am. The only thing I can say that may help is that my friend Pelle Ohlin survived his suicide. He truly did. He only was Dead and now he lives forever. I guess some special people can; like some sort of magick trick. So I know Keith will too. Maybe you can take comfort in that.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.