Yesterday I pwned my orc stalker and today I feel pretty good. Admittedly the stupidity of the situation even had me a little vexed because I knew that I absolutely deserved the final word in our argument but “she” didnt know when to quit. And just to offer a little back ground; “She” has accused me of either being or else channeling from R0man P0lansk! -which is total bullshit because I have never even watched Rosemary’s Baby. My #Nazirite #pathwork is all about my fairy G-dmother; #AudreyHepburn. The person in question is definitely showing signs of obsession and schizophrenia and the novelty of our dialogue is past its expiration. So I handled the situation like a champ and set up an email filter in my gmail, wrote up a ‘canned response’ template and set it to ‘auto reply’ to any and all of her emails -which were already being directed to my trash folder. Problem solved. I get to have the last word she gets to keeping sending me rude messages and the response she gets will eventually put her in her place (hopefully that’s the psyche-ward).
This is an amazingly simple and useful feature to deal with online trolls and orcs. Its actually really funny because the last twenty responses I have sent to this person have been the same message:
The above statement is my last word in our argument and I don’t have anything else to say. I don’t know the exact number of times she has received this same response but it definitely implies that the recipient is beyond being that of a mere slow-learner who is pathologically obsessed and is now ventured into the Fatal Attraction realm. Zillah has created an intricately arranged set of gematria loops all centered around my online presence (ie; names, phrases, titles personal information etc) to explain this to any 101’s reading this ‘she’ is absolutely #channeling from me. The situation is probably pretty out of hand at this point and might even make a good case for pioneering some sort of online-restraining order because this person demonstrably spends way too much time thinking about me. As a writer I understand that not everyone is going to agree or even be interested in what I write. I expect that, but holy shit! There are some people out there who are simply incapable of any meaningful communication and perhaps need to be told something hundreds of times before they actually understand the fact that they are useless and unwanted. And that’s exactly what makes ‘canned response auto-reply’ such a useful tool in this case. Google has enabled me in always having the last word against any further communication. Its actually hilarious!
I am writing this knowing full well I am a mouthy person who has done his share of on-line trolling. I get the fact that people need to beak on-line. One of the beauties of the internet is trolling. Sometimes a fashion model needs to be told their dress looks like shit. Or that the Kardashian girl needs to be told she is a useless media whore. Sometimes people need to hear the honest ugly truth in the worst way possible, -some people crave it. The connectivity of the online social mediums allow for people to receive criticism they need to hear that may not be fully appropriate in a real life situation. Getting burned online a few times is akin to getting your ‘sea-legs’. Its a process of growing and all the various celebrities are constantly getting burned all the time. But the vast majority of my trolling has been one-offs. There is no need to beat a dead horse and Zillah Nior needs to stop beating mine. If you are trolling the same person for more than a year and have accomplished absolutely nothing then its time to get a new hobby. I have enough self awareness in this situation to acknowledge my part of it. On certain points I can be a lot like talking to a brick wall because as far as I am concerned what I say goes and that’s exactly why I have this blog. But this particular orc isn’t even worth acknowledging anymore.
It actually crossed my mind several times that I might be arguing with some sort of experimental chat-bot but the orc in question consistently sunk to new lows typical of that of a disgruntled bitter ex-wife who despite having moved to India has failed to truly move on and can’t leave well enough alone. What ever the case maybe I have to give Google props on this incredibly useful feature.
That said I just want to take this opportunity to rail-road this article back to how pretty Audrey Hepburn absolutely is. Audrey Hepburn is actually so adorable and naturally sexy that had I ever met her in real life I probably would have laughed out loud at how utterly wonderful she is. Its often been said that the categories of “cute” and sexy” are two separate realms that never mix but Audrey blows that right out of the water! Her little nose is obviously the result of several life times experience in perfecting human DNA.
I realize by claiming that Audrey is my fairy G-dmother Christians everywhere will assume I am the apostle Paul/Saul and/or delusional (which I am not) but Audrey is just too cute to ever give up and if “keeping her” means that Christian’s collectively label me as the “Anti-Christ” then so be it. Its a sacrifice I am willing to make. Audrey Hepburn is G-d’s gift to mankind and I am not sorry for admitting that.