*This article uses #gematria all #hashtags denote numbering of letters and words to verify any of its totals use https://www.gematrix.org/*
In the first place if you are actually thinking that you might be the mark in a conspiracy you need to dial it back and consider why a group of people might be trying to interfere with your life. I can guarantee that in 100% of cases of genuine paranoid schizophrenia the person believes they are special in some way and are inventing ways to elevate themselves into some position above or apart from normalcy, -that is: they are actively inventing some device of artificial status which they don’t rightfully deserve. My point in saying this is the “conspiracy” may be the least of the querents problems. One simple example is a Methamphetamine user whose dealer has refused to sell product to him may instead claim that the dealer is scared of him, hiding from him, or owes him money or anything which serves to boosts his ego and simultaneously explain his dealers refusal to take his calls. Such conclusions are common among those with a schizophrenic personality disorder and schizotypal thought tendencies. They justify their own instability and social short comings with story’s that are often designed to lend them the appearance of a noble victim or what ever angle they are attempting to draw in from their listeners reaction.
That said after 10 years of strange occurrences I myself have been forced to consider the possibility that there may be people who are attempting to steer my thoughts in various directions or else interfere with my life in various ways. I first began to notice this after moving to Vancouver BC. I had noticed someone had been writing #Sharon Tate around the city in jiffy marker. It just so happened that I was using some simple #gematria for some creative writing and I numbered a few familiar names and I found that my girlfriends name #Sarah Landry was 121 in simple gematria, exactly the same as #Sharon Tate in the same simple cipher. I thought this was a pretty strange coincidence especially since the graffiti appeared to be concentrated around my neighborhood. After I had looked up who Sharon Tate was and how she died I began to wonder about the graffiti. At the time I went by my Nazirite name #Starless which is 113 in simple and could not yet appreciate how far this went. Eventually I realized that my christian name #Richard Yellowhorn carries the same Simple and English value as Sharon Tate’s unborn son #Paul Richard Polanski both being 208. Suddenly what initially appeared as random graffiti became a highly personalized and calculated taunt. At this point I didn’t really understand what that meant but it seemed totally beyond any reasonable coincidence and disturbed me on many levels, These realizations came slowly over a long period of time. One of the first things I remember thinking after looking at photos of Sharon Tate was that my girlfriend actually kind of looked like her! Except much more voluptuous and with darker hair. Secondly, who in the hell would would be in such a position to even notice this numbered coincidence about two random peoples gematria!? Let alone go about writing it on walls around the city?! What kept me from being completely consumed by this was that it wasn’t my number being written but as her boyfriend my mind kept slipping back to how Sharon Tate was murdered; which of course made me paranoid for her safety. This paranoia would always shut down thinking any further on the subject as I was terrified to consider that I might be Schizophrenic. What if I was the one writing it one the walls! I did after all have second name; and there for could in theory have a separate personality! The movie Fight Club had a profound effect on me. To me this possibility was mortifying! This thought alone was always enough to shut down any further thoughts on the matter. For some reason being a nutcase who talks to himself on public transit was worse than the possibility of violence against me or my loved ones. I was living in a void of fear and because I didn’t understand what was going on I was unable to think clearly.
I vaguely understood that I was being railroaded into believing something and resisted it at every turn. So much grief and all from a name written on a wall. The endless possibilities ate up all my mental resources every time I thought about it. To ignore the nagging suspicion that there were apparently persons unknown who knew more about myself and those close to me than I did; I would drink and party my free time away. I couldn’t be bothered to think about such disturbing and open ended questions. If I had a few beers and a bit of cocaine or ketamine my worries would just become writing on a wall. The anxiety this situation caused was overwhelming but these thoughts would always seep back into the front of my mind and did so often as I teetered on ladders 30 ft above the ground painting houses for happy and productive Vancouverites. The serene forests of North Vancouver were as stark contrast to the smoldering hell-scape that fumed in the salt flat I called my mind.
During this time it never really occurred to me that I might be Sharon Tate’s baby reincarnated or that my girlfriend might be her either. The constant anxiety far outweighed any egoic conclusion that I might get from believing I was some dead baby from another life. I was a neophyte to gematria and so this somehow blocked me from arriving at any definite conclusions. I wouldn’t have realized it at the time but all of my beliefs would be eroded away simply from a name written on a wall. Sharon Tate. I say it now with the same ominous tone that a pre-schooler might whisper “Bloody Mary” into a mirror… half expecting an apparition to appear in a puff of smoke holding her head or a dead baby or what ever… The more I thought about it the sillier it seemed that they would even name Sharon’s fetus but he indeed have a name and its written on her gravestone; Paul Richard Polanski the name of all my mental instability.
My only saving grace was the knowledge that I hadn’t done anything to cause this. In my mind there were several spheres of causality which compounded and made this beyond any possible coincidence or set of random possibilities. I had only added up a few letters in the Alphabet and Math doesn’t cause schizophrenia. Further still I had decided to change my name long before this situation ever started; something that separated me from this Paul Richard Polanski situation and indeed saved me from it. I would far rather be Starless than Richard anyhow and this made it tolerably clear that none of this could possibly be my doing under any circumstance. If I did have a separate personality it must be exactly the same as the first one and seemed to be steering me in a proper direction.
The totem which led me to change my name had to do with a little black cat named Starless… It was an extension of my childhood. The small black cat was my spirit animal and regardless of how unusual this was it gave me some breathing space and separated me from the living nightmare my life was becoming. On occasion I would catch a glimmer of the reality of my situation; someone out there was trying to convince me that I was Sharon’s Baby! The natural and logical reaction to such a thought is Why!? The weight of this question was almost enough to make me scream it out loud on street corner without any provocation. Just like any other nut. Almost… But again; WHY!? and who would anyone go to such lengths to convince me that I was a dead baby? etc… Then the clouds of improbability would immediately shroud me in their unlikelihood and I would once again feel the need to medicate myself with a drink. With a good beer buzz crowning my troubled mind my worries and problems would once again just be writing on the wall.
I was constantly looking for ways to make this go away and I would start by changing my name. I had enough problems without being bothered by a series of murders that happened 39 years ago. I wanted to go back to school. I wanted to be creative and productive as an artist or maybe a writer but my time seemed to be constantly eaten up by anxiety and worry about something so abstract and unreal. When I wasnt thinking about this I was running from it. My problem was that I had connected the dots between things others had intentionally done but worst of all it appeared someone was trying to railroad me into some sort of “Satanic Conspiracy”… Something which even now sounds patently absurd! Those things don’t happen to actual people that’s the plot of a Darren Aronofsky film where the protagonist ends up lobotomizing himself to quell the fire in his head.
I don’t believe in Satan. But that isn’t the point. The Manson family murdered with the intent of starting an apocalyptic race war and were therefore motivated by Satanism even though they clearly didn’t believe in anything at all. On August 8-9, 1969 members of the “Manson family” murdered the pregnant Sharon Tate, writer Wojciech Frykowski, coffee heiress Abigail Folger and celebrity hair stylist Jay Sebring. Steven Parent was also killed who was a friend of the family’s gardener. The next day August 9-10th Charles Manson personally accompany’s his followers and proceed to murder the couple Leno and Rosemary Labianca.
In researching this I was immediately prompted or drawn to look up #Abigail Folger whose gematria is (104/624/217) in simple/english/jewish respectively… When we divide the Jewish number by the simple one we get a familiar number: 217÷104=2.086538462… We have already seen 208 in both #Paul Richard Polanski as well as my own Christian name. This would appear to be a rather incredible coincidence but obviously its not. The Manson family was clearly acting on a “Satanic” agenda which itself is defined by its use of #numerology to manifest specific outcomes through the use of #Spellcraft.
Eventually the problem seemed to go away on its own. Whoever had been peppering “Sharon Tate” across Vancouver had apparently stopped or found something else to do or most likely someone else to torment. Since my teens I had been fascinated and confused by numbers and this interest was indeed how I was able to catch on to the Sharon graffiti in the first place. There was one time while walking across the Granville street bridge I saw an image in my minds eye of a tall and thin blond woman twirl her skirt and point to the bridge when I got to an approximation of where she would have been had she been real; written on the bridge read “Sharon Tate” in the same old jiffy marker. Despite this I never ascribed any super natural value to any of this. I didn’t feel like I was being haunted; this had to be some sort of harassment because ghosts cant write things with Jiffy Markers nor would it explain the gematria. Whatever it was it made me head sick every time I thought about it. This remained an open ended nightmare for the next 10 years.
In researching the life and times of the only famous person to actually survive/dodge these murders; Roman Polanski, I noted that the previous year he had produced a movie called Rosemary’s Baby (1968). Which is yet another incredible coincidence. I can remember the day when I finally at long last looked this up. My head was spinning and I realized I was somehow at the center of a storm. I had heard all about this movie but I couldn’t look into its details for a long time and when I finally did I made sure I was good and drunk. The effects of Alcohol intoxicate the mind and effectively puts a portion of your brain to sleep. I needed to do this drunk because it was so stressful. I have never watched the show and don’t intend to but when I eventually did work up the nerve to research and study it I found it was a horror-show brought to life by a series of murders whose victims had all been selected based on their gematria. Anyone who compares the movie Rosemary’s Baby 1968 with the dates and details of the murders will see that they reflect each other in a multitude of ways. It would seem that Sharon Tate’s murder was already planned in the writing process of Rosemary’s Baby. For more on that see here:
I am fairly sure there are many people who would wish this blog would go away, just as its become clear that there was someone wanted me to believe that I am Paul Richard Polanski. I have never shied away from calling anyone out on this website. So far I have called out Roman Polanski, Ron Howard, Mark Ramos, my old employer Anthony C. Pavlakovic, the Psychiatrist Dr. Alberto Palma, Vanity Fair writer Hillary Busis, Quentin Tarantino, Pope Francis, The Calgary Peacemakers, Kendal Meier of Travel IIg, the Baptist Pastor Steven L. Anderson, President Donald Trump and conservative commentator Ben Shapiro. So there is a long list of people who have already participated someway in this nightmare. Whether through prolonging it, humiliating me on their stupid show or else just being a douche. Whatever the case I am doing the right thing by bringing this to light and I will continue to do the right thing. All I have to do to honor Sharon’s memory is to write about my nightmares. I haven’t done anything wrong and am not afraid of any consequences.
Zillah’s IP conflict.
In my case I can show that there is absolutely a group of people working to harass me. This is evident in the IP addresses used by my cyber-stalker(s).
On May 4th 2018 at 2:20 pm I received a comment from a “zillah iktomi noir” through this website which read: “you think its funny keeping those little girls souls trapped…fuck you cuntbag.”
The email included in the comment was one firstname.lastname@example.org. and the IP address listed was 220.127.116.11. According to the website eXTReMe-IP-Lookup.com the IP address is a residential type and is from South Burlington, Vermont, -which is consistent with my harassers online profile as well as other harassing comments they have left.
Then at 3:18 pm I received a follow up comment which again was sent to this website: “haha you like my present asshole!? i can flex too bitch..so much worse coming for you i know there are plenty that want to be rid of you xD”
The email included in the comment was again from email@example.com. but this time from the IP address 18.104.22.168. and according to eXTReMe IP Lookup.com the IP address is a business type and listed as being in France called Very Games SARL; –Very Games 30 Avenue Georges Pompidou, 30900 Nîmes, France
I have noted in previous online encounter’s wherein I will send her a link to my blog and soon after several hits from various countries suddenly show up directly after. Poland, France Belgium and a few others. So in all likelihood this is just her way to show me she is not working alone. Lately when I send her a link the hits that show up are now listed only as being from the European Union. So it would seems they are masking themselves at least from the wordpress platform’s analytics feature. For more on Zillah’s nonsense and her potential ties to my ex lady Ma Nithya Swarupapriyananda and her #Nithyanada Cult see here: