The real story behind Winnie the Pooh…

There used to be a website which analyzes the psychological motives behind news paper funnies. I cant find the site so I am assuming it went tits up for telling the truth about what a waste of time Rex Morgan M.D. is. The site was great because all of those dumb and very unfunny comics that we all looked forward to reading (only to be disappointed) were analyzed with hilarious diagnosis. The authors position on Marmaduke was particularly revealing as an extension of its creators inflated sense of male importance. The site has apparently been lost to time but its memory and legacy lives on… here and now.

One children’s story/cartoon which has always stuck out to me as a thinly veiled vehicle describing a deeply perverted situation is Winnie the Pooh. The following is not novel and what I am about to say is plainly obvious but something that to my knowledge no one has ever discussed. So I offer a warning in advance: if you are a fan of Winnie the Pooh prepare to be disgusted as one of your beloved cartoon character is ruined forever, what you are about to read you will not be able to forget and you will never see the cartoon the same again.

The first thing to understand about Winnie the Pooh is that he is not real. The bear is actually an extension of the its human owner; Christopher Robyn’s personality. This is plainly obvious but something easily overlooked when watching the show. Pooh represents Christopher Robyn’s repressed id. Christopher Robyn lives at home and Pooh lives in the Hundred acre wood behind his house. At home Christopher Robyn lives as a normal little boy in an apparently normal domestic situation. So when we see Pooh interacting with Rabbit or Tigger we know that we are actually being lead through Christopher Robyn’s own imagination. In this sense Pooh is obviously a vicarious aspect of what Christopher Robyn does with out the boundaries of the prevailing human cultural expectations. Pooh Bear works as his power animal; and does things he is forbidden to do as a human. For example Pooh Bear is addicted to Honey. He cannot be left alone aound his friends honey stash and frequently burgal’s his friends food stores to get it. In the woods Pooh (or Christopher Robyn) lives freely without any restrictions and exists as an animal does with his animal friends.

The second thing to understand is that Pooh isn’t actually a honey addict. The Bears honey addiction is merely a kenning for Coprophagia. This is as plain as day! Its undeniable and in reality we know that we aren’t even talking about Christopher Robin but A. A. Milne. Christopher Robin is a shit-eater and the honey is actually only a displacement of terms much like the relationship between Christopher and Pooh. Part of what makes this so obvious is the inclusion of the Honey pot. If we consider the era and time of when this cartoon was produced then we know that the honey pot is nothing more than a chamber pot common to the time. Christopher Robin defecates in his chamber pot which he has labeled as “Honey” for Pooh which is then left in the hundred acre wood for him to eat. Its an incredibly obvious and not to mention disgusting situation. Just what sort of person imagines themselves as a shit eating bear! Yet Christopher is largely the only normal character in the show.

For those of you saying that there is no connection between the terms Honey and Poop in the story prepare to shocked and disgusted. There is absolutely no way to disagree with this situation because it is inherent in the simple gematria of #Honey and #Poop. #Honey being 67 and #Poop being 62; 67÷62=1.080645161… and when we take that number and see its relationship to Pi we can find out exactly what’s going on: 1.080645161÷3.14159=3.439800383. 343 in this case represents Christopher’s ring between Honey and Poo (p)! To him they are the same thing! A. A. Milne was an incredibly depraved individual! I mean what kind of a sick fucker writes a story about a kid who eats poop in the woods! Yet parents and children everywhere are lapping this shit up and have been for years! And no one has caught on to the incredibly obvious and supremely perverted nuances in this story?

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One aspect of coprophagia that supports this interpretation is that it involves a reliving of past events (and diet). From a psychological perspective Coprophagia represents going backwards in time or reliving something over and over. Its conceivable that a coprophiliac has combined pleasure and guilt in to a single putrid ritual -a way of ritualizing a some past transgression and enjoying-? it all at once. It therefor makes sense that A. A. Milne is reminiscing about his childhood. As he is going back in time to his safe place, a place free from the confines of human society and moral restrictions. A place where he is free to be a shit eating bear with out any fear of being found out or judged. Further supporting this is that Christopher Robin is never seen with friends, parents or even pets. Its just Christopher Robin and his band of animals.

I wish it wasn’t true…